Not going out.

Yesterday, there was a lot of talk on the Goon Squad Facebook page debating plans for an evening out. I knew I had a lot to do today (swim trials for the UNSW Swim Team, a full day of lectures and a BRATs session), so I definitely could NOT GO OUT. 

However, as I was walking back from track, I got a message from John, (bearing in mind it's about 6.30pm), saying 'Everyone come to The Cockpit for cash times. So cash'. I got a simultaneous snapchat from him saying 'number 4' in front on a bottle of Tooheys. I'll explain the use of the word Cockpit, but I'm not even sure myself what cash times are.. 

Basically John is part of the Goon Squad and also the most Australian man in the whole of Australia. (Out of the ones I've met. So realistically about 0.00000001% of the population). Last week, he moved into 'The Cockpit', which he named upon arrival (it was previously known as Flat 408). 'The Cockpit' as he insists I refer to it, is also home to Megan, Alex and Stan. John says he's putting a sign on the front door saying 'The Cockpit' and a sign on his room saying 'The Pilot'. He's moved in his TV, XBox and Lava Lamp. Basically the place is now like a bachelor pad.. 

John playing XBox with 2 Tooheys on the go..

I may as well tell you a bit more about John, everyone is going to get there turn at being ridiculed on here. Eventually. 

One thing of note is that his favourite pass time is catching giant (and deadly) spiders, and making them fight to their death, by putting two in a small space with no other food. He likes to tell the story of one called Tyson. This one beat all the others (it was 6x as large) so he rewarded it with a smartie and was going to free it in the morning as a prize. However in the morning not only had it not eaten the smartie, but it had also died. He says looking back it was probably the lack of water and oxygen that did it. He also likes to hunt for kangaroos on school camps. Unfortunately he has never caught one, but he has caught a snake (which he presently killed and put in some poor boys water bottle for the morning). Other things of note are that he was School Captain (what?!) and his favourite quote is 'I'm drier than a dead dingos donga'. I think this means he is feeling thirsty, because he usually says it before cracking open another Tooheys.

John under the influence of Goon, having more Goon poured into his mouth. With his chin on the table.. ?

Anyway..  Back to the message inviting everyone over to The Cockpit for cash times. I decided to go over to check it out, maybe stay for pre-game, then go home for dinner and GO TO BED. To cut a long story short I instead ate this for dinner, 

The incredible cake Alex and Megan made

stayed until 11pm, nipped home, got changed, and rejoined the Goon Squad in order to go to Ivy. (A bar in town. Very nice - Lots of good looking guys in expensive looking suits who seem to like buying drinks, especially for blond girls from England).

Goon Squad en route

John (same John as featured above), nearly got us thrown off of the bus before we even got there by continuously starting loud and offensive chants which the entire squad kept joining in with. In addition to this, when we were already over halfway there, we suddenly realised that nobody actually knew which stop to get off at, or where Ivy even was. 

Nevertheless we made it, we danced a lot, and I have been super tired all day.